How Sabrina Verrier got involved...

As a new foster parent, we said yes to our first placement of a 7 month old baby boy. He became the light of our lives. While he was in our care I was able to over look the lack of communication, the continued cancellation or changes of appointments, the lack of support, because we were in bliss.

 Our family helped back us so we felt supported by our village. Once we were approved we got our foster son about 2 days later.

During the first few days of having him I had to push for info, beg to be told when hearings were, and I was sent paperwork to fill out that already had another families social security number and address in it.

As the time rolled on we were told that the primary plan for our foster son was going to change to Adoption by our GAL and she was writing that up for court. Then they found a family member who decided they wanted him. We were heartbroken but family is always the goal so we were supportive. But then the time came for visiting with them.

He returned to us upset and smelling of marijuana. We bagged his clothing and brought it to his GAL’s house for her to smell and inspect. She agreed.

With the mother and fathers past and criminal history (combined about 150 pages of all kinds of crimes from petty theft to trafficking cocaine and heroin) I felt like I needed to look into this family members background. The family member had a pending charge for carrying a concealed weapon without a permit. I am all for 2nd amendment rights, but within the law. When I brought this up to social services I was told by his social worker that her husband also carries a gun and you could easily make a mistake and take it somewhere you were not supposed to, so she was not too concerned about this.

I expressed that I felt with the families over all history that I felt like it needed to be resolved prior to Our FS moving to their care.

I received a phone call from a DSS and was screamed at and told I was too emotional. That if I didn’t agree to a set date and time to “return” the child to social services that she would just come get him right then. Her words “he will be fine either way”.

Does that sound like someone who has the best interest of a 15 month old at heart?

I think it is pertinent to mention that at the same time that all of this was happening, DSS was calling me and texting me asking me to take other children in their care. I let them know that until I had proper information on the child already in my care that I would not be taking another.

This child had been with us for over ½ his life. He was moved from us after 2 over night visits. Cold turkey. No contact. We were his world and he was ours. And if I remember correctly in the foster parent bill of rights reads:

·         Referral to resources for dealing with loss and separation when children return home to their parents

None of that was ever given to us or offered to us. Maybe instead of calling me overly emotional and attached, if she truly felt that I was overly attached, wouldn’t this be what she should have been telling me? Not yelling at me that the last 8 months of hard work into a child was for nothing and that he would “just be fine if we moved him” with no warning.

Our foster son went to his bio family who was questionable at best. My Job was to love him, care for him and help him grow. It was to know his every need and to keep him as our top priority. It was to fight for him, to help him thrive and make up for deficits he faced from him first 6 months of life. We were to be his advocate and protector. But Social Services did not respect our role. They play God. They decide what happens. No judge had ordered for him to move. I know that for a fact, since we attended every court date. His case had only just been adjudicated, and then continued over and over waiting on both parents to be there or legal representatives to be there. Don’t get me started on the judges and how even social workers will tell you that it depends on who you get and how they feel for the day as to how your case goes.  

We have now decided to move our foster license to a private service as Person County DSS is absolutely not willing to work with us to help us on our goal to foster/ adopt a child.  We have now signed on with the private service but need person county to provide docs to them so we can be considered for adoption of 2 children currently in care elsewhere. Person county has lied, and dragged their feet in sending simple documents to the new agency. I reached out to the board in Person County and got no response. I reached out to the Person County DSS director and deputy director and nothing. No response to phone call or email. I have reached out to reporters who can not do anything until something specific happens to a child. I guess we need to wait until this gets as bad as Nash county for NC to do anything.

As much as my situation pains me, this is no longer about my personal fight. It is about fighting for all the children in the counties custody. All of the foster parents afraid to speak up and all of the bio parents who are actually working hard to get children back.

I have met several other Parents from person county going through the same / similar situations.

·         Penny, the mother who spoke last week in the meeting just had to hand off 2 boys that have been with her for 4 1/2 years. They were handed over to their mom who has never really had much to do with them. They came into her care when they were 1 & 2 and are now 5 & 6. You can not tell me that this is not trauma inducing for them. They are now in a home they don’t know with a woman they don’t know. The 5 year old has asked so many heartbreaking questions. She is in the fight of her life to get their sons back home. Their case was continued 18 times while they were in her care and then on a 3 days noticed they were ripped out of her home and placed with their biological mom who has done nothing in 4 years to get them back. Her rights should have been terminated years ago but their case fell through the cracks enough times to get to this point. It is reckless and playing fast and loose with children’s lives. This is a woman who has for the last 4 years cared for her nephews with no help, no extra resources, to be paid back with heartache and social services playing God. She has now been advised by her legal team to no longer speak with DSS so she is not able to be here today to share her own story.

·         Another mom is fighting to have her step daughters biological mom investigated. She has reported abuse, physical and mental, as well as several other horrible living conditions and the state will do nothing about it until a child is “hurt” in the home.

·         The 3rd mom is a domestic violence victim. She was chased while carrying her 7 day old daughter into a cornfield where she laid down on top of her baby to protect her with her own body while she was kicked and punched. When DSS got involved they kicked her out of her house (The man didn’t live there) told it was because she was unsafe there, but she could go there everyday to wait for the bus in the driveway with her older daughter. . The social worker pulled in while she was in the house to get them clothes and told this mom that if she didn’t leave right away she was going to take her kids and that she can no longer be alone with them. So she had to go stay with a friend of her daughters.  She had never been to these peoples home but figured how bad could it be. Well the home had millions  of fleas and bugs in it. When she told the social worker they told her that they were off the clock and would have to wait until Monday.

·         I have also now spoken with a few previous social workers from person county. They have a lot to unpack on how backwards the system is. How there is a lack of care and support.

·         We have even made contact with several GALs who are frustrated and tired of spending weeks and months working on advocation for a child for it to be thrown out the window.

I understand work life balance, but these are human beings. Not property, not disposable. How can these things keep stacking up. Each one of these stories have intricate details that each family could share. I have chosen not to share specific names in this of any of the parties. But there are many players who are the same. We are devastated for our personal loss and our friends losses, but we are fired up to make changes. Families in rural communities deserve more. We deserve not to sit back and wait for some helpless child to die in order for change to be made. I asked several other foster families to comment but they are so scared to be retaliated against that they will not speak up. They don’t want the children in their homes to be taken. How sad is that to hear.

Since 2021 the amount of foster families in NC has dropped by 23%. That means that the approximately 10,200 foster children in NC, have only 5,500 foster homes available to them as of 2022. That’s asking each foster family to take on 2-3 kids on average. While I would love to have 3 children in my home, I can not imagine the amount of support needed to have a successful relationship with these kids. They need extra love and care, and if their social workers can’t support the families that are taking them in, how can the families pour into these kids!

I am ready to use my experiences and skills to help families that are afraid to speak up in fear of retaliation get help. Our community deserves better!

I hope you are ready to join our fight!